One time I was on a date with a guy, we were going to spend the afternoon together and it was supposed to be a wonderful evening. I should mention that I’m gay, by the way. We planned on spending the afternoon by the lake, have a picnic and watch the sunset together. Typical cliche, I know. But I’ve always been a hopeless romantic, even if I look like a giant redneck who could totally pass for straight.
After that, we would see where the night would take us. I have to admit the guy was a little out of my league, so I was really nervous and wanted everything to go as smoothly as possible. I was so excited that he agreed to see me, that I was a wreck before our date. Still I put on a nice shirt, shaved my hobo beard and put on a nice cologne. I was supposed to bring the food, but didn’t have time to prepare it as I was focusing way too much on my nerves.
I asked my brother to help me out. He went out to buy groceries so I asked him to bring me some lettuce, greens, tomatoes, bread, salmon, ham and a bunch of other stuff to these really easy-to-make gourmet sandwiches. I have to mention all these ingredients because they’re sadly, very important to the story. The next day I asked my brother to make the sandwiches, so he said “yes, no problem, but you owe me.” After what happened, I thought life owed us both! He made half of them with salmon, half of them with ham. So I cut them into little bite-sized pieces, put them in the fridge for a few hours and we were good to go.